when people ask me when was my last trip back to my home town? what shall i

answer? 3 months ago? or 4 months ago? literally, 1 year thrice......

        a house is not a home. who can understand? wouldn't i tell them, it's hard to

stay at home for more than 3 days nowadays. tolerance..... patience.....

wendy keeps helping me by answering people saying i'm a person who doesn't like

to go back.... funny.... she got a warm and cozy family undoubtedly, everyone

knows from her mouth. Inferiority complex lies beneath me.... the other one is

bao han who is too much to say i'm not ipoh people.

        there's no one knows the truth either.... but, i would hate people saying that i

don't like to go back home, i strongly emphasize on that.

         at the moment, i still have a shelter to survive - my hostel. but when i

graduate in 1 year plus time, that would be a doom day for me.

        reality hits me, but i still running away from it. i know i shouldn't, but it's

too fake to face. there's no way out, is there??

        i still remember i had a very sweet and memorable b'day, but later only i

figured out the nightmare took over my happiness. since then, i bear the burden

on my shoulder. since then, i lost my trueself. hopefully no one notice it, but

kevin and lai mun did keep an eye on me. my emotion getting up and down,

unstable, over sensitive, easily depressed, bad-tempered.......

        my b'day, andrew, bao han, lai mun, weng wee, eng chin, sim ying, kev, coming
back all the way from taiping, teluk intan, ipoh, johor, cheras respectively and

purposely, celebrating my big day in nearest KFC. wendy, mastermind, planned all

the strategies taking the trouble fetching to-n-fro. the occurance of kok onn

surprised me. unforgettable........
      
       unfortunately, i didn't receive any wishes or even belated wishes from a few

good + close frens...... yea...disappointed though......perhaps being too busy on

other things.....

        election just over.... on the 21st Sept.... Aspirasi won 68.x% in our college.

Considered good. Hard work eventually paid off....seriously exhausted..... i

don't know why do i have so much of "semangat kolej", just couldn't imagine what

if one day our management is taken over by the opposition. Don't ever happen

here!

        2 years plus of surviving in a political environment, fear no one...... i was

taught to fight for my right. Really thanks to my malay seniors and my dearest

brother, Mizra. A great help in problem solving - politics and academic. Not

forgetting Mr liew, his criticsm and cursing become encouragement...

        there's always a time when u get your authority and all depends on how u

utilize it. some, acting bossy would be awful; putting on a long face expecting people    
to scare of u would be too much; managing things too strict and straight sooner or

later will be a failure; to brain wash people with different perspective too

often may cause "brain damage"; to keep forgiving people who betray u again and

again would be the most foolish act; too engrossed in a relationship may cause

negligence of other task and vice versa; people who overwork may cause

exhaustion.

       there's a balance on everything......